The Pile

OK, so enough of the mushy crap about my man - let's get back to the real. My man is a freakin pack rat. Straight up. At his bachelor apartment before we moved into our new apartment together, he had boxes and boxes and boxes of crap piled up everywhere. What the hell was all that shit? Late twenties, and already accruing mountains of crap? I vowed to get rid of a lot of this junk one way or another. Nobody wants to look at stacks of Home Depot cardboard boxes, they're ugly and not decorative. I told him that when we moved in together he'd have to throw away the crap, and he could store whatever he wanted in my mom's garage.
After secretly ditching a lot of his junk while helping him pack up to move into our new place, he had about 13 boxes of stuff left, which included clothes, frames, house stuff etc... so I thought we we did pretty good! I figured most of that stuff could be unpacked and put into its place.
WRONG. After 3 months of cohabitating bliss (haha, yeah RIGHT - nobody told me how different shit is actually LIVING together!) there will still about 8-9 boxes, a fan, and 2 lamps still piled in the living room! I tried everything to get those damn boxes out, work parties, sex bribes, elaborate dinners, and all I got in return was "I don't have time," and "I'll work on it tomorrow," and "there's nowhere to put it," and finally "you just want me to throw all my stuff away, first it was my couch, then my desk, my clothes, and now all my stuff." Boo freakin hoo. How is it that I got all my shit put away into their correct places? Do I look like Hoodini to you? Did my boxes magically disappear? NO, I put in my work - I FOUND places for my shit, threw away the crap that I never looked at and put the rest in my mom's garage! What's so hard about that?
Anyway, after nagging my ass into oblivion, he FINALLY did it (pouting the whole time). Christmas was coming, and that pile of shit was sitting on the exact spot that my beloved Christmas tree would stand. Box by box, slowly was opened and rooted through (this took about 9 days total, and my living room looked like a cyclone hit it in the process) and finally there were three. (See picture above) He moved them to the corner of the living room by the desk (also the first thing you see when you walk in the front door) in a neat little pile. When I walked into the house for the first time, I was stunned that he actually "finished" but (damn I'm a bitch) was also thinkin "couldn't he have found a better place to put those damn boxes instead of in the living room for the world to see?" But, I kept my mouth shut, he worked really hard and I wasn't going to complain. Now, three months later, I think it's time for these 3 boxes to go! (By the way, I looked inside to see what was in the damn boxes - AND IT IS NOTHING BUT OFFICE SUPPLIES! Three whole boxes of pens, tape, file folders, desk trays, book ends, dry erase markers and other shit! WHO needs 3 WHOLE boxes of office supplies?)

Help me! How do I get these damn boxes out of my house!??

Be Peace

P.S. Here is the plant that took the place of his stinky plant. Isn't it pretty? :)