A Love story: A Boy and His Plant

What is this you may ask?? It's the plant that I can't get rid of! It's one of the only things left from my boyfriend's bachelor apartment. Long gone is the faded brown sectional sofa that "would be perfect for 10 of my boys to sit on while we watch football," and his 15 year old mattress that has probably seen more ass than a donkey in a Conga Line. So sorry we had to get rid of the dilapidated entertainment center thats "wood finishing" was peeling off the sides and finally your 200 pound, 15 year old desk with the dust bunnies in the drawers was just "too big to fit in our new place." So sorry honey!

I'm sorry your stuff was old and gross. I'm sorry none of it matched anything. I'm sorry that we couldn't keep anything but your clothes, some tupperware, a side table, a few pans and 2 plants (now there is only one left, I will get to that later).

Readers, I DO actually feel bad that we HAD to get rid of almost everything, but we had to start fresh! I'm a girl - a girly girl. I like my stuff to match and be clean. I knew that in time, he would adjust and understand, and he did!

HOWEVER, there were 2 plants that just couldn't go. He has had them for years and they both look sad and pathetic. For some odd reason they won't die completely, but continue to show signs of life, sprouting a new leaf every month or so.

Last week, however, as he and I walk in the front door, we take a few steps in and smell something awful, here's how it went down:

Him: Damn, did you step in some doo doo? (why does it gotta be ME that steps in the doo doo??)
Me: Lemme check... NO! It was you!!
Him: (Looking at his sneaks) NO, it wasn't me!!
Me: Didn't I ask you to take out the trash yesterday?
Him: I DID!
Me: What the HELL is that!?!? (gagging)
[We both commence to sniffing around the house trying to find the source of the stench]
Him: Did something spill on the carpet?
Me: Did something crawl under the couch and die?
Me: EW! EW!! I FOUND IT!!! It's your stankin' ass PLANT!! EW!!!
Him: No it's not!! Lemme smell!
[He buries his nose in the pot]
Him: EW!!! What the F*%k???
Me: (Thinking to myself) YES!!! Finally! This fugly plant shall be moved to the balcony!!!
Me: (talking out load) I'm sorry honey, do you think we should move it outside? Maybe it was just overwatered and got moldy...
Him: (with a sad face) Yeah, I'll put it out there.

Poor guy, I actually do feel sorry for him. I think I will take extra special care of one of the only bachelor things he has left. Although it is mangled and ugly I will watch after it and love it.

(Do you like the pot I painted for it??)

Does your man (or woman) have stuff that they HAVE to keep that you can't stand??? What's the one thing YOU wouldn't get rid of??

Spread Peace

Love is like a baby: it needs to be treated tenderly.
African (Congo) Proverb